Happy

The following is taken from Andrea's personal journal (2/2/2007):

I feel in general that the strides I have made towards becoming the person I want to be have been great in the past 6 months! I was looking through an old notebook today and came across some things I had written at a church retreat last June, when I started to really examine my life and realize I needed a change. Some of the "goals" I had haphazardly written in that journal -- thinking at the time how silly or unrealistic they were -- have helped shape the trajectory of my life. And amazingly, I am on my way to accomplishing several of those short-terms goals already (things like "live in another country," "do more traveling," "learn another language," "learn to focus more on myself," "do more journaling.") It is amazing to me how I have followed my inner-most desires without even fully realizing what they were!

When I look at myself now compared to the me of one year ago, I feel like I have come so far! It was at that church retreat last June that I realized how truly unhappy I was with my life. I had everything I needed or would have hoped for (good job, beautiful home, wonderful friends, many accomplishments), but those things did not fill me. I was too caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, trying to use money or friendships or job security or frivolous successes to fulfill me. I didn't even realize how far I was from pursuing my dreams. In fact, I can remember being astounded as I examined my life throughout the course of last summer and realizing that I didn't even know what my passions were!

I still may not know for certain all that I want to do with my life or where it will take me (do any of us really?), but I am discovering more each day!I have been able to reexamine my life and unearth some of those desires that I had almost forgotten existed. While I was traveling this past fall, I felt as if I was awakened from along slumber. Suddenly, I looked at life with a fervor and passion I had not felt in years. I realized that life could be so much more that what I had taught myself it should be!

I've been asked several times in the past weeks how it felt to quit a good job and say good-bye to the life I had created for myself in D.C. My answer is (no offense to all my friends in D.C.) : I feel great! I am unemployed, don't even have a next job lined up, am uprooting my life and moving to a country where I cannot even communicate, and I could not be more ecstatic about what opportunities life holds for me! Yes, I am slowly growing into the person I would like to be, and I feel truly happy, which is something I could not claim one year ago.